1. Awakening to a sense of loss--- even a mild grief. And as I prayed, a deep sorrow over the depth of my avoidance of God... no, not a conscious "i don't want God" avoidance, but rather a self-sufficient, "i don't need God" avoidance born of self-sufficient obtaining what i want, who i want, where i want, when i want, and why i want. Isn't this the American way? Every time something enters my want zone, i get it. And, although the fast has only just begun, already there is something potentially blocking my wants.
2. Several "resets": A piece of chewing gum, popped into my mouth without thinking, sipping a seltzer and then reading, "no carbonated beverages", and realizing that it's really not the 'letter of the law', but rather, as stated by Daniel himself, “In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.”
3. Discovery of a few helpful sites:
The Daily Audio Bible (actually, this is not a discovery, but a remembrance of this site) wherein one may listen to the Bible and participate in a vibrant and loving online community of believers.
The 21 day Vegan Kickstart, a service offered by PCRM (Physician's Committee for Responsible Medicine) I found while browsing for some simple vegan recipes
The Daniel Fast blog and website where, in addition to a plethora of information and support, I may order an e-book for 4.95.
A "fasting movement website" that has a daily 21 day blog one can follow and a sample printable fasting contract.
4. Awareness of my propensities toward selfishness, impatience, and demandingness --- and my lack of ability to successfully temper these without the use of my favorite defuser, food/drink.
5. Surprise at just how often my mind turns to seeking comfort in "just a little" of this... or that... or a cuppa' tea... or... (and inam shamefully surprised at how grudging my response is when i remember i'm fasting... i did not once turn joyfully to God at those times of struggle or comfort-seeking. Instead I grumbled and complained.)
6. Direction biblically... to Isaiah 58 and Psalm 51. I will be reading and meditating on these today (Day 2).
7. A renewed commitment born of realization of my dire need for spiritual renewal and emptying of self.
And that's it. Not a "yahoo, it's all good" kind of take on things, but rather a sobering reality check at my (what, until yesterday, i would've described as "fit") spiritual condition.
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